Barneyisfat

If my memory serves me right we were celebrating Anyuta recieving 2nd place in the Student of the Year Ceremony. She should have recieved 3rd but she got 2nd because I was in her skit explaining her accomplishments and I was an American who could speak Russian. I recieved a standing ovation for my three lines of Russian text. The only standing ovation of the night. I hated stealing the show ... but, it happens.

We were celebrating on a docked boat. It was there so we all got on board. It was a cold night and we should have been in someone's flat, warm and content, instead of shivering on a boat on the banks of the Volga. There were guard rails all over the boat for some reason and we were fully engaged in swinging on all of the rails. Nothing stripperish going on ... but we had only been there for a few minutes.

I was there with Igor, my best friend in Russia, and a dating couple from school who didn't speak English well but were very much fun. I would put my arm around his girlfriend when he wasn't looking and when he would realize it I would say, "I'm sorry, I didn't see you there." It was a great line and Masha really got the joke. This night we were all joking heartily.

Masha's boyfriend did a flip over a railing and slammed his head against the floor of the ship. He chipped a tooth. I, the ugly American, didn't realize that his family would never be able to afford the expensive dental surgery to get his tooth fixed. Once our spirits were dampened it seemed much colder.

The man in charge of watching the ship at night came on the deck of the ship. He was old, haggard, and unwashed. He was a character from Chekhov's novel - a peasant expected to do or say something profound. He invited us into his cabin; I was extremely hesitant, but my friends were all happy to be in a warm room.

I sat in the chair (because I'm fat and tend to break non-sturdy furniture), Igor and Masha took the bed, her boyfriend, Sasha, took the seat behind the door, and the old man sat behind the table. The room was no bigger than my mother's pantry. His teeth were bad and his hair unkept. I couldn't keep up with his stunted speech and I wasn't sure if I should let the secret out that I was an American. I wasn't sure if he knew the cold war was over - I wasn't sure he understood that their had ever been a revolution by the bolsheviks.

I sat patiently for more than half an hour and listened to this old man speak. I thought of the adventures this man must have lived. I couldn't wait to hear the stories of this old seaman translated for me by Igor. We finally left and headed on our way. I asked Igor what he had been talking about and Igor replied, "Nothing, Michael, he is a crazy old man."

Be careful when listening to people. Theology professors, parents, myspace addicts, friends, men and crazy old seamen can all be lumped into the category of people to listen to in moderation. They might say some really insightful things ... or they might just be crazy and talking nonsense.