Barneyisfat

My biggest fear is failure. It's one of my fears that I am afraid to give to God. I'm afraid that people won't like me, that I won't be good enough, or that everything I do will fail.

I'm wrestling with a lot right now. I start my summer job on Friday. I have a video to put together before Sunday. I'm not sure if I will be good at my job. I'm not sure if the video will get put together.

I feel led to apply for a youth ministry job. I'm so scared. I'm scared that I will fail. I don't want to spend my time trying to be accepted by a group of people. I'm so comfortable working from the idea that "I am who I am and I don't care what you think about me." I'm afraid that will change if I get the job. I'm afraid I won't get the job.

I felt led to apply last fall. I didn't ... and I was sick for months. Hopefully coincidence (not sure how much I believe in Christian Karma), but on the off chance that they were related; I don't want to screw this up.

I need to get my Russia trip together. I'm not cool enough. I have too many obligations. What will people at my current church think? My sunday school class? My drama team? My friends? Will I have time for everything? Will my grades suffer? Will we even have any youth? God ... couldn't you find someone a hell of a lot cooler than me?

I'm not prepared for youth ministry. I don't want to work with youth! I'm afraid that I would just be running from my current responsibilities!

I'm so filled with fear. Fear of failure consumes me. I know that God can take it away. I know that God can use failure. I know that God can use me.

Failure or not; here I come.