Barneyisfat

We were so young then. We were filled with hope of what the world might hold for us. We called it hope then. Or optimism. Or a plethora of other positive words. We call it immaturity today. Or naievity. Or a cadre of other negative terms; terms that reaffirm our smug superiority. It's an us v. them affair and we know we are right. The only problem is that "us" used to be "them." And we knew we were right when we were "them."

Dating is a good example. You never get any better at it. In elementary school when you dated a girl you held hands or sat together at lunch. In middle school you did the same thing, except you met each other at the bi-annual dance. In high school (pre-driving days)you did the same thing except you rode together to the dances. You drove her to the prom. You still held hands and sat together at lunch. In college you invite her over for lunch and enjoy her company. If you're slutty sex is involved somewhere in there. (I haven't figured it all out yet, but I believe it can start as early as middle school and continue all the way through the second day of marriage.) We never get any better at the things we do. We're always just as awkward. We're always just as immature.

Friendships are a good example. I've seen fights erupt between civilized adults that amounted to little more than playground spats. Lawyers are involved and occasionally people get shot. You stop being a persons friend, you get new friends, you spend too much time with one friend, you wonder if you ever really connect. Our interpersonal communication skills remain stagnant. We remain children.

Tony Campolo said, "You are as young as your dreams and as old as your cynicism." That might be a paraphrase. I'm a dreamer at heart. I can still visualize world peace, a united church, and fewer objectifed midgets on television. But, my brain is constantly cynical. Take the midget joke above as an example. I'm both 85 and 7. I get angry when someone takes my pew, but I pray and hope fervently that we will have visitors to fill all the other pews.

I don't know what "then" I'm referencing at the top of this blog. Maybe it was when we were "kids." Maybe it was before we came to college. Maybe it was before I wrote this blog. I could keep dreaming and be 7 forever, or I could grow up (mature) and find my seat at the adult table. I just wish this life thing wasn't so confusing.