Barneyisfat

I pray in Russian sometimes. Usually at night when sleep escapes my possibilities and I am left with my own thoughts. I never quite felt comfortable praying in Russian when I lived in Russia, and I did live there. I've decided that. Although seven months divided into 3 trips isn't much; I lived there - in every essence of the word.

I felt betrayed by God some nights when I was there. My friend Meredith summed it up nicely upon her return, "I wish someone had told me how hard it was going to be to live there." dark days of language doom would precede sick nights without any relief in the interim.

I loved it there and I miss being there, but there were moments of discontent. More than moments. Days of discontent.

It's odd to me how much my thinking and core values changed during my time there. While I would never claim to truly think like a Russian, I also can't say that my thoughts are entirely American either.

I wonder if some lonely night in the distant future I will find myself praying in Korean; or if my thoughts and actions will be molded by this place. Will I learn to lie without remorse to "save face?"