What a crummy cross.

In our "Youth to Jesus" student center, we keep a cross on one of the walls. It's two pieces of old wood that are tied together. I don't know where it came from, or how it came about - but I love it's presence in our space.

About two years ago we had a small explosion in our stairway. We had to replace our large door, and apparently this event signaled a welcome to the community to come and inspect our space and see what we were all about. I've been told that dozens of people streamed through our space. And one comment was consistent. "What a crummy cross." "What kind of church would have a cross like that?" "Couldn't you find a nicer cross to hang up than that one?"

Apparently dipping the thing in gold for the last 2000 years has made a number of people forget that the cross was an execution device of severe cruelty. But I love the idea of the crummy cross.

The headlines blare out more scandalous gossip. It's a familiar song and all the kids have the dance moves down pat. Right-wing Pastor of mega-church is accused of wild, sexual misconduct. I don't know anything about this pastor, and while I assume I would probably stand in opposition to some of his views; I genuinely feel bad for the guy.

Being a spiritual leader is tough. Being a spiritual leader to 30,000+ people is impossible. He might be a good CEO and he might be able to control his image and empire well - but at 30,000 congregants, you are no longer providing spiritual care. One downside powerful people face is the fact that vulnerable people surround them and expect them to show all restraint. The stress and pressure combined with the power make a downfall almost inevitable. What a crummy cross.

Olya and I had just finished our meeting. We closed in prayer and she volunteered to help me exchange some train tickets and purchase new ones at the ticket office. There's a lot of complicated language in such an event and I was thankful for the help. Olya co-leads the language ministry at our center and she's passionate and strong. When we got to the train station I didn't think and I opened my wallet and handed her some money to buy the tickets. I immediately got "the look" from three on-lookers. The "you're a dirty old man" look. Olya wears a bit too much eye make-up and she was wearing heals and I look older than I am and we were speaking English. Everyone who saw me hand her money immediately assumed that they were witnessing a familiar transaction. They assumed that I was giving money to the prostitute I had managed to find in L'viv. What a crummy cross.

Christine O'Donnell doesn't think that people should masturbate. Her logic is debatable, and she really has to reach around for scriptural support - but she genuinely believes it and is willing to put her neck on the line for it. What a crummy cross.

Mother Teresa was filled with doubt. Christopher Hitchens has gone to the Vatican to fight against her canonization. He believes that Mama T was a shameless self-promoter who managed to trick the world into believing in her false piety. I imagine that if she were alive, those accusations would throw her into another bout of depression she was so used to. What a crummy cross.

These are the faces of Christianity. Whether this is how we would like the world to see us is completely not up to us. These are people whom God has forgiven and whom God loves uncontrollably. These are people whom others identify as followers of Christ.

In the end, we must remember that the cross was not shiny and perfect - the cross was ugly and scarred and disgusting. The cross was only made beautiful through the resurrection. Our lives are ugly and scarred and disgusting. Even our Christian lives. Even our forgiven lives. They can only be made beautiful through the resurrection.

Amen.