I'm sorry ...
... that I don't live out what I believe.
... that I don't love like I should,
... that I hit you, even though I was only joking,
... that my reflection looks a lot like me and nothing like Christ.
... that you have to see me like this,
... that I call you to complain about shit.
... that you cheated on your wife,
... that I caught you,
... that I can't forgive you,
... that I, too am unforgiveable.
... that we became more than friends.
... that I'm not the role model I want to be,
... that my doubts outweigh my faith, daily,
... that I don't call you on your sin.
... that you love skateboarding more than Jesus,
... that I make fun of you for being pale,
... that I have never told you about Jesus.

I'm sorry, that I can't tell you this to your faces.

I can't help but agree

Sometimes we need to hear the things that hurt.

I feel sometimes that cat people have a better understanding of grace. We love our cats because they're there. There is some element of companionship, but really, cats don't do anything.

Cats will never save Timmy from the well, alert you to the barn fire, or accomplish any other ridiculous task to earn your love. Cats simply couldn't care less if you like them or not.

I love my cat because I want to express my love. Even when my cat refuses my love I will still love him. He doesn't give me kisses or fetch me the paper. He will never make an attempt at earning my love. He knows I love him. He understands that he doesn't have to earn it.

I have gone through and re-read some of my blogs. I'm pretty egotistical. I know that this is a page of my innermost thoughts, but I'm really selfish.

I'm worse at offering grace than I am at polka-dancing.

I rarely, if ever, remember to praise God in the storms.

I held a birthday dinner in my own honor. It was important to me to gather my friends together and celebrate my birth. My parents, of course, had to foot the bill. I invited six of my closest friends to the nicest steak restaurant in the area. I had made it quite clear that I would be paying (with my parent's credit card.) My friends, however, had missed that little detail. I declared that I would be eating the ribeye and asked my friends what they would be getting. Rachel wanted a salad, Ricky was going to get french fries, and Adam was going to order a water. I was so upset at them - I had told them to get whatever they wanted and explained that I would be paying for it. Maybe they hadn't believed me or maybe they didn't want to be a financial bother; but either way I had to explain that the dinner was my parent's gift to me. I had to elaborate on the point that I would be offended if they ordered anything less than steak.

Sometimes we fail to remember that Christ has paid the eternal price and that we have nothing to offer on our own. Too many Christians, failing to understand that God offers the steak of a lifetime, end up eating the french fries and water of their own efforts. I wonder if God is as offended as I was.

(We all enjoyed our steak!)

I had to sit through a two hour lecture on why mainline denominations such as the United Methodist Church were failing to uphold the gospel. I was so offended, not because the professor had dissed my denomenation, but because of his ignorance. The United Methodist Church daily holds up the gospel around the world. In my church in Toccoa, there is a woman who every week fills the communion bowl with water so that it is ready in case someone comes forward to be baptized. We are a church that upholds the gospel message and is ready and prepared at all times.

Danny and I were talking, the other day, about getting in trouble at church. Danny grew up in the church, but he grew rebellious during his youth. Funny story. Danny had to apologize to the elders for chewing snuff during the living nativity scene.

Me: Well, were you someone important like Joseph?
Danny: No, I was a shepherd. I was just playing the part.
Me: A shepherd would have definitely chewed tobacco.
Danny: I know. We beat up the kid who told on us.
Me: Was he a skinny little punk?
Danny: Yeah. We cornered him.

I couldn’t agree more. A shepherd would have chewed and probably would have beat up any skinny, tattling punk.