Barneyisfat

So I will go ahead and be transparent. Only read if you care about what's going on in my life.

(Oh, crap. I promised myself my blog wouldn't be one of those blogs people read to feel better about their own lives.)

I'm very frustrated right now at a lot of people.

I'm very upset that my friend Ben is willing to forsake all of his friends for a possessive controlling girl. I've decided not to go to the wedding. I can't condone this. I love Ben, of course, but I can't watch him throw his life away. If he would step back for a second and see what he is doing to his friends' lives he would realize it isn't worth it.

I'm angry at my dad. He is going to have Gastric Bypass surgery. I won't come home for the surgery. If he goes through with it I won't be going home this summer at all. After he has the surgery and loses weight he will pick on my sister and I all the time about our wieght. He has been on one (1) diet my entire life! He feels that he has been on every diet plan known to man and it's physically impossible for him to lose weight any other way. That's bull.

I'm angry at my dad's unrealistically high standards for everything I do. He was angry at me that I only got a 3.5 gpa last semester. I needed a 3.6 to get on the dean's list. I worked my butt off for that gpa ... and now I realize that everything I did last semester was worthless. A mission agency isn't going to care whether I got an A or a B in a core class. If I do my best and it isn't good enough for anyone why even try?

If it comes down to either spending more time building relationships with my youth group or doing chapter summaries for a Bible class ... I'm going to be building relationships. All of my Bible classes haven't brought me one step closer to Christ. When I build a relationship and share my faith with a teen in youth group he or she moves closer to Christ. I realize that the ministries I have an active part in are things that I am called to do. Many of my classes I am only taking because I have to get them out of the way. I rejoice in a few of my classes, but for the most part they just fill a requirement.

I want my life to be lived vibrantly in ministry ... not filled to the brim with requirements. I still plan on doing my homework and going to classes, but if it's too much ... well I'm going to focus on Jesus - Most student's here don't want their ministries to interfere with their grades. I think that's why my college has such a bad testimony in my town.