The Confessing Movement

It’s part of a very conservative United Methodism. But, I find that I can often label myself a confessing United Methodist. No, I’m still a liberal - I just think that we should confess our sins. Not to a pastor, priest, or brother – but rather to those whom we have hurt.

Donald Miller writes about this in Blue Like Jazz. He and friends confess to liberal, paganistic Reed students about the many grievances of the church.

I’ve hurt a lot of people in my pursuits following God. Non of those grievances were as a direct result of my devotion to God – all hurt has come from me, following my own will. The crusades were not a call from God. We screwed up. I told Ashley Deane that she was going to Hell because she was having sex in middle school. I told Mike Emer the same thing. I screwed up. God didn’t ask me to tell her that (obviously) but, of my own volition, I chose to impose my self. That’s the only real way to put it. It was selfishness. If I could trap people by their sin it would give me an excuse to show off my righteousness. I was a pious, pompous ass.

I showed off my vast knowledge of the Bible to anyone who would listen. I became a lot more liberal – and a lot more loving during High school. I still screwed up. I discounted people because of their poverty, disallowed individuals from personal ministry because I knew they were sinners, and fought against a disliked pastor.

At college I am “the liberal” drowning in a sea of conservatives. People still leave mid sentence after being offended, yell and curse at me, and talk about me behind my back. I’m not concerned. I did the same things. I would much rather have the scandalous rumors be about me – because I know who I am, what I believe, and the God that I serve – than for the rumors to be about someone who isn’t sure of themselves. I would rather their wrath descend on me daily, than for them to hurt one person and scare him or her away from the Gospel.

I mourn Ashley Dean and Mike Emer. I cry sometimes out of compassion – because I thought myself so good, and my sins so small that I was willing to condemn them to Hell. I never, never, NEVER presented them with the Gospel. I thought I was doing my job by scaring the Hell out of them. I gave them every downside, every vengeful attribute of God, and every verse depicting Hell and never once told them that Jesus died to save sinners. I never told them the truth – that Jesus died to save them from that Hell.

There is a man who writes very angry anti-religious comments on the blogs of Christians. It’s a free country – and hey, at least someone is reading the stuff I write! I’m not angry at him. I’m praying for him. I’ve discovered that hidden behind the dark history of the church there is a loving savior. And, despite the fact that we celebrate his birth on a date nowhere near its actual occurrence (scripture gives us a pretty good idea – and it’s not December), and despite the fact that we are responsible for the inquisition, missionaries who destroyed ancient cultures, and current day bigotry; there is still a love that surpasses all of humanity’s flaws. His name is Jesus. I have confessed a lot of sins to Him. Now, I’m confessing a few of those sins to you. I still mess up. I blog about petty things, I make a mockery of my own faith, and often fail to live up to the love of my Savior. I’m sorry.