Barneyisfat

I invited my Sunday School class over to the house for a Valentine's party this Saturday. I attend an older adult class (as most of you are well aware) and have quite a time defending my actions to some younger adults (I think they just want me to join their Sunday School classes!)

I've decided why I like my class so much. I think. The youngest Christian in the room because a Christian 16 years ago. And, these older adults have all figured out that although they have been a Christian for so many years they haven't got it figured it out yet. None of them are perfect, and as far as I can tell none of them are putting too much of an emphasis on perfecting themselves or removing all sin. No one is spending hours every day trying to figure out the correct theology. But, when they see a need they snap into action.

I've got some pretty screwed up theology most days. My theology changes from day to day. How I understand God is often based on my understanding of people (especially those who love Him.) We as Christians are a reflection of God. The verse we read today said we are like a mirror's reflection - and I figured out that in those days mirrors were horrible and gave a very poor reflection. I'm a lot more willing to accept that most Christians are a horrible, dirty, skewed reflection of God. I don't keep theology papers because I know I will disagree with what I wrote a week after I turn it in. If I don't watch myself I'm going to turn in a paper for Collier some day where I reference the Holy Spirit as "she."

I, for years, spent so much time trying to get a proper theology. I wanted to be able to rationally explain everything so that I could usher people into the kingdom. I never did that - I never rationally convinced anyone to follow God. I argued with a lot of people, hell - I "won" a lot of arguments ... but, I realize that I lost a lot of people while winning those arguments. It wasn't God that I was defending - it was my own intellect and sadly my own pride that I was trying to defend. I could demolish a person intellectually; I always used that verse that discusses always being ready to give an answer for the hope I had. I knew that the answer for my hope didn't rest in anything rational. There's nothing rational about the idea that God came to earth in human form and died the most disgraceful death imaginable so that His blood would cleanse me white as snow. Nothing rational.

But there is something loving about that. Very loving. I'm dangerously close to losing my membership card to the Evangelical Association. I'm not afraid of that anymore. I won't be losing my affiliation with Christ and the saving act He has performed in my life.

I don't have all of my theology correct yet. I'm not perfect. I'm not counting on accomplishing either before my time on earth is done. I do, however, fully plan on living my life to the fullest for my Savior - I want to be able to snap into action when I see a need. I want to be able to do that before I'm 70!