Barneyisfat

Marty came to Toccoa First United Methodist of her own volition. On her first Sunday she walked into the sanctuary and saw only one end seat open. She asked the older lady sitting further in that pew if she could sit with her and the woman promptly responded that the seat was reserved. Like the scene from Forrest Gump, Marty walked through the church being told “seat’s taken!” She came back three weeks in a row without anyone ever speaking to her. On the third week she gave up and decided that she was done with the whole “church thing.” A man about her age came up to her after the service and introduced himself. Charles Smith and his wife Mary Jo brought dinner to Marty and her husband during that week.

A goodly number of years later Marty and Charles are both elderly adults. Mary Jo has passed on and Marty’s husband is too old to go to church (if he ever did.) Charles is a little bit crazy and scares some of the youth and Marty says whatever the hell she damn well pleases. Charles will make little announcements during Bible Study that don’t quite make sense and Marty will most likely bring up in Sunday School the fact that we need to get George Bush out of office. I love them.

Everyone give disclaimers about these two older adults. “Marty tells it how it is. She says what she wants and doesn’t care who hears it. Some people might be surprised at her language, but you won’t find a nicer Christian lady. If you need prayer go to her, if you ever need anything she’ll do it.” “Charles has brought so many people into this church. He’s old, deaf, and sometimes says things that shouldn’t be said in public, but he loves God and still wants to make a difference in the world. Don’t ever cross him though, he’ll get even.”

I’ve named my car Controversy. It seems to be the name that best fits. When I was in the process of getting permission to move off campus, I was a little nervous that the administration would come and search my room. I took everything out that would be considered sinful. I put my “bag of sin” in my car for safekeeping. (Featured items included: a Chairman Mao shirt, a Michael Moore book, the movie Saved!, and a Maya Angelou book – if only I could say that this was the actual extent of my sin activity!) My car took “the threesome” to the Christmas banquet. It also took the only gay, Jimmy, and his very straight “date,” Steven, to the Christmas banquet. They went together to try and create a scandal before Jimmy left the school. Controversy pretty much sums up my car.
I hope that when I am old people will say these things about me. I hope that people will say, “He drops the F-bomb sometimes, but he loves Christ more than anyone I know. Sometimes he says some pretty heretical statements, but he sure tells a lot of people about Jesus.” Here’s to hoping!