Barneyisfat

I want to give up.

My grandmother had an anyurism (sp?) today. I haven't heard anything since this afternoon, so I think she's okay. I was trying to plow through the 50 pages of Jane Austen I still need to finish when I realized. I don't care anymore.

I'm starting to get sick, again. I went out for coffee with friends and we started talking to a kid from the falls. He was arguing about doctrine and I realized. I don't care anymore.

I can't confront anyone. About anything. I just deal with emotion and my emotionalism. I just want to put my head down and cry. It hurts to breath, again. I just don't care about my classes. I enjoy them ... but they don't mean anything to me. I don't even want to begin thinking about my Jane Austen term paper. I don't care anymore.

I wonder what's so bad about crying? Why does everyone put up so many stigmas about it? Why can't guys cry? I'm going to go cry myself to sleep. I will probably wake up to write my Austen paper tomorrow.

I'm praying for peace, grace, health, my grandmother, and my best friend's girlfriend - Bobby. Pray with me.