Barneyisfat

I'm sad. I'm frustrated. I doubt.

That's my cycle. That's how things work.

It makes me sad that people at a Christian College feel they have accomplished "Christian Community" by living with other guys and taking a yearly trip together. I'm frustrated that I had to be in the picture of the men of my building (I didn't even know the names of some of the people on the other side of the building.) And I doubt that Christian community is a real thing. I see myself chasing a white rabbit down its hole only to find a world that bears no resonance with the real one. I've found that Christian community only seems to work at the exclusion of non-Christian community. That's not Biblical.

It makes me sad that people can hinder the Gospel by a narrow interpretation of obscure references with multiple possible explanations. I'm frustrated with people who have no room left in their theologies for God to move. And I doubt the Bible. I see a Bible that we have deified, made a graven image of, and used to support hate for centuries. Whether it is inerrant or not doesn't matter to me most days - only if it's worth it to pick up my Bible and try and read a page or two.

I'm sad that people won't look me in the eye. I'm frsutrated that people will end a conversation when I say something uncomfortably liberal. (I understand that I sometimes cross the line of decency.) And I doubt whether I want to be grouped with these people who call themselves Christians at Toccoa Falls. If I can't be forgiven for being a liberal (Christ has forgiven me of all of my sins) by other Christians, why should I count myself among their number?

I'm sad. I'm frustrated. I doubt.

It's how things usually go. I'm praying for grace, peace, and understanding. Pray with me.