Barneyisfat

First: "There's something refreshing about that, about presenting yourself honestly to the world, even if it looks and sounds a bit awkward." - Brian Palmer (Amen!)

Second: "People don't respond to the idea of God these days because when someone mentions God or Christianity, they think of judgmental personalities, The Crusades and guys like Pat Buchanan and Pat Robertson running their mouths. There's a reason people respond to someone like Mother Teresa and it's because she didn't have to say a word about being a Christian. Her actions spoke volumes more than all the words she did say, and that's how we ought to be as well." - Also some guy named Brian Palmer

So here's my dilemma. I think that I'm living for Christ a lot more than ever before in my life. I talk about theology a lot less, now. I mess up - and sometimes I don't really mind my sin - which is inconsistent with some of even my own beliefs. I give generously. I have love, joy, peace, patience (it fades in and out), kindness, goodness(so, maybe I could lose a few "your mom" jokes), gentleness, faithfullness, and ... (well, maybe self control is coming next). So, why don't people ask me as often where my source of hope comes from?

I secretly hope that people will ask me that question. Maybe it's selfish. Maybe that's part of the problem, but really - people use to ask me that question. It happens rarely, now. Christians ask me why I smile so much, friends ask me how I'm so free, and non-Christians ask me why I smile so much. But, where does my hope come from? I don't hear it anymore. Am I showing signs of hopelessness? I don't think so.

I am more of a servant now than I have ever been before. Tipping Huddle House employees well doesn't draw crowds, praying for revival in my walk-in closet (big enough to require wall art to discourage depression from blank walls) doesn't garner world-fame, and doing the dishes at Joe's house after the Church meets doesn't make me famous. Being the fearless high-school kid who bravely (selfishly?) traveled the globe to proclaim the name of Christ brings glory, leading youth group brings credit, and praying aloud in church after a service about our life brings awe. I'm learning the lesson that the life of Christ isn't a glamorous one. Jesus was never elected to office, he never called us to greatness in a traditional sense - just death; daily. I'm working on it.