Barneyisfat

My friends and I traversed to Buford, GA to get fitted for our tuxes for John wedding. I had to try on a shoe, but I didn't have socks on. This being a respectable establishment they gave me a piece of foot hosiery. After trying on the shoe I took off the hose and was playing with it. Ann and Dawn told me to try it on my head. I did, and it looked like a yamulka. They both said, "You look Jewish." A man looked over sharply - and I played it off by saying ... "always picking on the jew." The employee who had looked over now came over. He proceeded to inform me that he had my back - we now had a special connection - since we were both Jewish. He introduced himself as Rich Goldman ... er... Goldburg ... or Jewy McJewerson (I don't remember). I introduced myself as Michael - only Michael. Michael (Zieg Heil) Ehrgutt just didn't seem to flow in this case.

So now, I'm pretending to be Jewish? I have a strong Jewish nose, great curly sideburns, and a "Fiddler on the Roof" t-shirt. I looked the part of a Jew. The man talked a good bit more and wanted to know what a "good Jew" was doing in Toccoa, GA. Going to Bible College didn't seem to flow either. He showed me his jewabilia hung proudly around his neck. It was so awkward and yet so so so funny at the same time. I owned a bagel shop - I tried the "lock, stock, and barrel" joke, but after I said it I didn't remember if that was Jewish or German. I figured it was Kosher.

Then i went and ate Chinese food. I skipped the Por Fry Rye (Pork Fried Rice) - maybe kosher doesn't sound so bad.